Embracing Intentionality: Setting Boundaries & Goals as Working Moms

In this cozy and candid episode of "Coffee in the Barn," join hosts Morgan and Casey as they delve into the intricate balance of professional life and motherhood, all while sipping on their favorite brews. This week's episode, titled "Embracing Intentionality: Setting Boundaries & Goals as Working Moms," is a heart-to-heart conversation exploring the art of setting boundaries and intentions in our everyday lives.

Morgan and Casey kick off the episode reflecting on the challenges of unexpected snow days, sick kids, and the juggling act of being working moms. Casey, joining in with her cheerful piggy coffee mug, shares her strategies for preparing for the cold weather in Arkansas and working with the DSM's Verax team, highlighting the importance of being prepared for life's unforeseeable twists.

The conversation then shifts to the meat of the episode: setting boundaries and intentions. Drawing inspiration from James Clear's "Atomic Habits," Casey shares her journey towards aligning her habits with her goals, emphasizing the need for intentional living. She candidly discusses her own challenges, like setting realistic fitness goals, and how changing small habits can lead to significant improvements in mental health and self-esteem.

Morgan and Casey dive deeper into the topic of self-care and its true meaning, debunking the myth that it's all about indulgence. They stress the importance of making choices that align with personal goals and values, rather than succumbing to short-term pleasures or social pressures.

The hosts also touch upon the art of saying no, sharing personal anecdotes about how they’ve learned to set boundaries in both their professional and personal lives. Casey discusses her experiences with Upwork and how she’s learned to value her expertise, choosing projects that align with her worth and goals. Morgan shares her journey with Paisley, her therapy dog, and how she balances this passion with family life.

The episode wraps up with an engaging action item for the listeners: identifying what to say no to, in order to better align goals and priorities with one's lifestyle. This poignant conversation leaves listeners with a sense of empowerment and the tools to make intentional choices in their lives.

So, grab your favorite coffee mug, and join Morgan and Casey for an insightful discussion on living a life filled with intention, boundaries, and the joy of motherhood and professional success. Don't forget to follow, share, and engage with "Coffee in the Barn" on social media for more inspiring content.

Transcript

Morgan 0:00:00
 From boardroom meetings to bedtime stories, Coffee in the Barn explores the delicate dance of balancing the demands of our professional lives with the joys and responsibilities of being moms. Join us each week as we discuss the latest trends in agribusiness, share insightful interviews with industry experts, and sprinkle in some heartfelt anecdotes about the humorous and heartwarming moments that come with being a working mom in agriculture. Hi guys, welcome to this week's episode of Coffee in the Barn. This week we'll be talking about setting boundaries and intentions and specific habits that we're gonna use to help set our goals that we talked about last week. Good morning, Casey.

Casey

Good morning, Morgan. It is so nice to be with you again. Don't have any special coffee mug with me besides my piggy one because it makes me feel cheerful and ready to go because we're living in the world of snowflakes. Yes, yes. I don't know about you but... Literally and figuratively. I don't know about you but I don't know this is our second snow day of the week and as being a working mom it takes some juggling on the back end if you need to rearrange child care and I know it's also the time for kids to get sick. 

Morgan

Everyone is sick right now and you know balancing your kids being sick and wanting to be held and working and all that fun stuff that comes with being a working parent. But anyways, no, I mean, it's just no, no.

Casey

 And I would say the weatherman and the schools have totally just ruined my plans around Memorial Day weekend to take a week up and drop my son off for at his grandparent for a couple weeks for the summer vacation to kick off. But yeah, they canceled school and supposedly supposed to get nasty. I can't tell if it's going to start freezing or not, but here we are finding out at five o'clock in the evening that school's canceled the next day. And I remember sitting there watching on the bottom of the TV screen. I think we were just talking about this, right? It's like begging our school's name to come up. And luckily my school was in the C category, so I got on the screen probably faster than some other schools. 

Morgan

Yeah, we were in Wisconsin, so we were still kind of up there, but I think it's good that the schools are calling snow days so early to help parents prepare for the next day and take whatever measures they need to. snowing. The weather patterns change within a handful of hours. So some days the weatherman says we're getting 12 and next thing you know we only got two. No, and I mean I just was upset about it but I'm relaxed with it now. It is what it is. Like I can't control it. It wasn't my decision so I'll make the best of it. 

Casey

And I'm doing the same thing. I'm preparing next week is supposed to be pretty darn cold here in Arkansas for us. And so I am working with DSM's Verax team in the field and we work in panel vans with equipment that we have to maintain around room temperature. So I'm already preparing, I'm like I'm putting special treatments in my generator, my gas tank of the van that I'm having. I'm like making sure I have my heat pads. Make sure you have a full tank of gas. Yeah, I'm preparing. Yeah, so there is things you can do if you can't control it you can prepare as I always say I prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

Morgan

 I would totally agree with the occasional travel and whatnot I have I have to do I have a box in my truck that has some snacks, water bottle, a blanket, just a little shovel, just the basics in case for some reason I get stuck somewhere. 

Casey

Yeah, I used to have all that as well when I lived up north and I'm like, I'm gonna be traveling up north next week or two weeks I need to make sure I have that stuff.

Morgan

 I have that just in our personal vehicle too because you never know when you're gonna need it. It's better to be prepared but that's motherhood. You're always prepared. I can tell you a many stories of living in Minnesota of how I was not prepared but that's for another day another time. We're on our timer of motherly chat and I just I just want I just have to add. All right just add real quick. Growing up, I was always called Mother Morgan because I always had everything that everyone needed in my backpack or in my purse or in my vehicle. Somebody needed a band-aid, water bottle, snack. I was always very prepared. And so I think that translated very well into motherhood where I am also very prepared. Almost forgot my child's snow gear at preschool the other day, but thankfully I had left it in the vehicle the night before, so I could just go out to the car and grab it. I didn't intentionally do that, but I just got lucky that time. You just said the word of the day! Potential. 

Casey

Now I'm putting the timer on for the meat of the episode, everybody. 

Morgan

We're grilling up some pork chops. So today we're going to be talking about setting boundaries and intentions and breaking down how we are going to segment our goals into small steps and self-talk and different things that we do to help achieve our goals that we have set for the year. Self-talks for next week. All right.

 Sounds good.

Casey
 0:05:59
 Well, I think the biggest thing here is intentional, right? It's like we have a goal. We have to align our habits with living intentional. And that really goes into James Clear's book, Atomic Habits. And I can tell you from my personal experience of goals or new hobbies or new things it's like I go into it full force. You talked about being a mother Morgan and prepared for anything. I go full force into something and I don't always set myself up to for success in achieving my goals and what I mean by that is that oh I want to lose 20 pounds but I mentioned last week, I'm starting out with walking to the fridge. Well, I maybe should focus on changing where I'm walking to. But I thought I've done this in the past. If I use that goal as an example, I joined Orange Theory and I'm going to go work out five days a week an hour long HIT class at Orange Theory and this has failed me a couple times to where my ankle and my other injuries because I went full head, full wind, full force right into it and jumped in with both feet that I couldn't sustain those injuries. And I that's just one example of that. So when I talked about my smart goal last week of my mental health, I'm doing it a little different. I'm setting each month I'm setting up new habits, kind of like James talks about in this book that builds on each other. So how can I feel good about myself? Well, my coping mechanism to do that, I used to buy, I can't say used to, I may still do, but buy pretty things or buy craft supplies to think I'm going to make pretty things, right?

Casey
 0:08:16
 So instead, I don't usually wear makeup or wear a lot of makeup. What I have started in January to see if that helps me shift my mindset is that at least three days if not up to five of the seven days that I wear makeup so I can look at some and I change it up my eyeshadows and things just so I can feel that creativity and color I also have plans I'm putting color back into my hair and went all natural and look excited I'm excited to see how how it turns out. 

Morgan

What color are you going to go with? 

Casey

Pink? Well, we'll see how well my hairdresser really wants to jump in. I was hoping rose gold, but I still have a couple of weeks to debate that. But I just remembered the color wasn't everybody looks at it. Oh, your hair looks different. I'm like, yeah, and I think I kind of like that because it's just something new and refreshing and I like color in my world and I like to change things. And so those where I thought that was an unnecessary expense to color my hair and people always mention, oh, you always have a different color of hair, being negative. I kind of took it negative a little bit, but I'm like, no, this is me. I want to live my life in color. And so I'm seeing if those little habits again, changes that mindset I have of being happy, right? Do I see beauty in myself? Do I see that creativity in myself? Am I expressing that without having to use my coping mechanism that hurts my bank account instead? 

Morgan

Well getting your hair dyed also kind of hurts your bank account occasionally. It takes more than that. Sorry, just had to make that point. That's why I get my hair colored maybe once a year. And every year my friend who does my hair finds more and more gray hair 

Casey

Well, and this is why we discussed just doing an undertone so when I can go longer Without seeing the roots so baby steps back into it But but I don't create clutter by coloring my hair and other stuff I have to deal with so there there's more to it than just a bank account, but yes. 

Morgan

Continuing the conversation on the self-care side of what you just described, I think the positivity and self-talk, we'll get a little bit into it a little bit more next week, but I saw this really interesting quote that I could really relate to, and it says, self-care looks different for everyone. I used to think it meant indulging in whatever I wanted by cheating on my goals. It wasn't long before I realized that these treats stacked up until they completely derailed my direction or reinstilled bad habits I'd broken. And I think it's really important that as we're setting goals and intentions for ourself for the year, or even if you're starting in June, whenever, on a day-to-day basis, it's learning that self-care and the choices that you're making align with what's important to you. They're not a poor decision driven by social pressures, cravings, or short-term pleasures. So saying that, I'm staying in, or I'm not drinking, shouldn't be looked as a negative, even if sometimes people that you're out with are going to say, oh, well, you're no fun, but you're making that conscious choice for yourself out of self-love and self-care. No, exactly, and I think our topics are really hard to say that we're going to separate them out because they're all intertwined into success of defining success, achieving success, but I think that also self-care, where we thought, oh, it's eating that cupcake when we want to some people see that and I love that quote that you found right? But it's not. Self care is also about setting boundaries. 

Casey

And I think we wanted to go into that and I'm curious, Morgan, if you can kind of lead us on boundaries, because I'm awful at boundaries and I love saying yes, but I do have some examples to share, but. 

Morgan

Yeah, I would say my goal from last week was being more intentional about the time that I spend with my family. And I said that I was going to take a picture of whatever my daughter and I were doing at that time or whatever family event that was going on. And that's been one area that I've been working on is not having my phone with me when I'm having that intentional one-on-one time. I take it as, if somebody texts you, that's not necessarily urgent, but if somebody really needs you, they'll give you a call. So I will have my ringer on, but I'll have my phone maybe on the kitchen counter or somewhere out of view where if somebody needs me, it'll ring and I'll hear it, but it's not sitting right next to me. It's not in my general vicinity. I think that's really good. 

Casey

So like, living intentionally with your family, you talked about that. So one thing we really try to do is we try to have dinner together, even if it's 15 minutes and my husband's shoveling in food before he goes to work. We try to do that at the dining room table and we try to take the phones away.

Morgan

Yep, yep, we do that too.

Casey

 Because I'm just as bad, right? And I'm like, yeah, it's no point if we're eating together if I'm on my phone Then my son sees me and he wants my phone and yeah, so it's that living intentionally in those boundaries that you say and I kind of wanted to go through I wrote this down of For work for instance. It's really interesting is my goal I discussed last week is mental health, right? And staying happy and enjoy what I'm doing. So I use Upwork as a tool to get some different projects and explore different industries. And so I'm finding a lot of actually pet nutrition jobs out there on Upwork, which I have really enjoyed getting to do something new and different, still nutrition, but it's been fun to look at different animals and just talk about pigs all the time. But there's been some upwork jobs that I've pushed back to say here's my budget if you can't afford me at this budget then I'm sorry I can't do this project. Where last year because I was so down in the dump and so concerned with my business I would take on projects for cheap. And I also found through that journey, I'd find companies who paid me what I wanted to be paid, and they didn't question me. And this is going in a lot of business coaching as well, for my coach on different things, but so I've said no to projects, and I'm proud of myself because I didn't compromise or I didn't have that boundary of this is my value, this is my worth. If you're not going to pay me, you're not going to pay me, then I move on. And I feel good about that. But there was one project I did say yes to that was way, way, way, way, way under my price. And I said yes to it, because there was other value than just the financial component of it. And that was the value of building my, my personal SEO component of it. And that was the value of building my my personal SEO or search engine optimization for me on the pet side. So I'm going to have some articles. It takes me about an hour an article as good as I am at writing to write this. So for for under my budget or my value, I took that because there was other financial, not necessarily financial value, but there was other value for me to gain, right? Creativity. So if I could connect with people in different spaces and they start following me, they may jump on to Coffee and Careers. They may jump on to The Real P3, right? They may read my newsletters, and I may impact them differently than just writing about pets. So I said yes to that. I think I think you sorry. Sorry. Go ahead. 

Morgan

No, I want you to add to that no, I was gonna say I think setting boundaries is is really important and I Fall into the same trap that you do where you always say yes, and you're always wanting to do everything and I've always been that person as well always saying yes and wanting to do everything and I've had to say no to different things going on. If we have a full weekend of stuff going on, I'm going to say no to some activities so that we just, as a family, can be home and we aren't running 24-7. Previously in college, I – this is a side story, but I'm going to make it short. My husband's grandpa was in the hospital for some health problems and he was in the hospital for about 100 days. And during that time, he could have family and friends visit, but he really, really loved my dog. Well, I found out that family pets could come visit in the hospital. And so I started bringing Paisley, our golden doodle, once a week to go see grandpa. Well, that kind of transcended into the nurses found out that we were coming and there was other residents in the hospital that wanted to see Paisley as well and Paisley did so good in that environment that I was like, huh? I wonder if she could be a therapy dog. So we went through all the training and Paisley is is a therapy dog not for me, but for for other people. So we go to nursing homes, hospitals, we do read to a dog programs at the local libraries and that's something that I really enjoyed doing through college and when we got pregnant with Jace, I was at the time doing it once a month at a facility about 45 minutes away. Well, I knew that that was cutting into the time that I was spending with my family and other factors if my husband was working, having somebody to watch the kids, etc, etc. So I no longer have the scheduled once a month visits, but I find specific moments and time things where I can still take those dogs and do something that I enjoy. Like for example, this next week, I'll be going to my daughter's preschool and teaching the dog, teaching the dogs, teaching the kids how to approach dogs and talking about taking care of dogs and just general education for four and five year olds on dogs. And so I thought that was a really unique opportunity to be able to kind of do what I love on the volunteering animal therapy side of things into being able to do it at my daughter's school. So I'm excited for that. 

Casey

Well, wow, I just learned another layer of Morgan. I didn't know.

Morgan0:19:20
 Paisley the dog.

Casey
 0:19:21
 So maybe we need some photos of Penny. 

Morgan

There's also Penny. Paisley and Penny.
 They're both therapy dogs.

Casey
 0:19:27
 Oh, you have two now. They're therapy dogs.

Morgan
 0:19:28
 Yeah, two gold doodles.

Casey
 0:19:29
 Oh, wow.

Morgan
 0:19:30
 My dogs are sweet and loving, but they would never be able to pass a test. Well, Paisley is very, but it's interesting though, because, you know, every dog has their own personality. And Paisley is very good with kids. And granted, she is almost nine. But she's always had that very sweet temperament ever since we had Emma. And so Paisley fits really good in the read to a dog program, different kid environments, environments where Penny can do that but she's more likes going to hospitals and facilities where standing up on the side of somebody's bed if they allow them to and just like getting all the pets and butt rubs. Well I think that's good but that goes into setting boundaries of you have two dogs that are both trying to be therapy, you each one has a different strength right? Yep. 

Casey

So you have different goals for those two dogs and you have boundaries, well, and vice versa. And I think that's a great example of putting boundaries in. But I also think it's a great example, you're still trying to find that that fills your cup, right, of doing this therapy with your dogs that fills your cup. But you had to tell yourself now with young ones it can't be set in stone.

Morgan

Yep, I just am changing how I'm accomplishing these goals. 

Caseu

And I think that's a great example of re-evaluating your goals and re-evaluating your boundaries of doing that. And that's what I'm doing this year is my mental health was really impacted because I didn't have my boundaries. I'm having to become more intentional in what I do for money and what I don't do for money. Because having my own business was to have the flexibility to go to school if Arthur had something going on. That was my whole mindset and working with a mindset coach of starting my own business and working towards that. And here I am running a business working 12 hours a day, literally working 12 hours a day, six days a week. I was literally working a half a day at least on Sundays. I was teaching everything. So I have set those boundaries. I have new goals. My company, it's the McKinsey name is a big thing in consulting and firms. I'm going back to my original goal of my business, and I'm becoming that agency. So I am doing steps to become that agency like McKenzie in the animal nutrition and health space, agriculture space. So I'm setting myself up for those intentions and getting there. So I'm putting in those boundaries to say, well, this doesn't align with what I want to do. But guess what? I have somebody else who does. So I can run a business. I can build it. But I have that opportunity now on my boundary I'm going to pass it to somebody else to help me right I don't have to be that expert I don't have to do it all and I'm building on that and getting back to the true foundation of why I went to own my own business but also what I wanted to do in my business so there's things I like to do I'd like to write I like to work in product development those are the things I'm gonna focus on, but if there's needs, I'm gonna have that network to pull on. And so that's my boundaries I'm putting in because my goal is mental health. If I don't have boundaries in my work, that impacts my mental health. Yeah, and I think that leads, oh. Sorry, but the same thing with family, right?

Morgan

 Yeah. 

Casey

I'm gonna change on how long I let my family come visit. But I think that goes into, we're ready for our action item, right? Yeah, unless you had something to add to that crazy stuff. I'm trying not to talk so much. I wanna hear more Morgan. 

Morgan

No, I don't have anything to add, but I was gonna say with that, I think the action item we're gonna leave you guys with this week is, what are you gonna say no to? Better align your goals and priorities with your lifestyle or whatnot. I mean, for some people, maybe they just, maybe they don't say yes enough. So if you're one of those individuals that doesn't say yes to new opportunities and challenges that are going to bring new values to your life, say yes more. To those people like Casey and I, who always say yes to everything, do the opposite. Do say start saying no to different things to help better align your goals and priorities with with your lifestyle. Wow. That's a great action item. I think it even could go into you and I is what do we need to say yes to that? We need to say no to. Yeah. 

Casey

Yeah. So I think that's good to make that clarification. But wow, I think this is getting good. We're really structured and keeping in our 30-minute window so it's a cup of coffee. Let us know how you guys are enjoying by the time I think we're on our fourth episode. Yeah, four already? Really? Yeah. Wow. Who knows January is almost over. With that thank you guys for tuning in and comment, share, like us on social media, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram. Let us know how how you're enjoying our content. Yeah and hopefully we get some reels and some other visual stuff coming out too here soon. So thanks guys. Have a great week everybody and remember if you got a cool coffee mug or something that I need to showcase on the show we could use some. Morgan definitely says she only has two in her cupboard. Have a blessed week!